An jedem verdammten Samstag

Von: Stephan Hartenstein

Jedes Mal bin ich schon den ganzen Tag vor Vorfreude unendlich aufgeregt. Die Gedanken gehenquasi schon auf Wanderschaft und der Moment kann schon fast nicht mehr ausgehalten werden, bevor es heißt „Jetzt aber los, wir müssen sonst kommen wir zu spät zum Treffpunkt !“ Natürlich spreche ich von keinem geringeren Event als von einem Jugendfussballmatch oder wahlweise auch Jugendfussballturnier, das ich als Vater meines Zöglings mit meiner Familie anschauen darf. 

Warum ist dies so ein Highlight für mich, fragt sich der ein oder andere Unwissende der vielleicht bisher nur Aktivenspiele gesehen hat. Das hat für mich verschiedene Gründe, die ich euch näher bringen will, damit ihr den Reiz besser verstehen könnt.

Erster Teil:

Die Trainer der gegnerischen Mannschaft:

-       
Da gibt es den Choleriker, der vom Anpfiff bis Abpfiff permanent und wüst durch die Gegend schreit und keinen Unterschied zwischen eigenem Team, Gegnern, Eltern, Schiris oder Trainerkollegen macht. Sein Motto ist immer „ die Stimme muss nach dem Spiel weg sein, sonst war es kein schöner Spieltag !“

-       

AndrDer Andere ist der SOHN-Ueberbevorteiler oder auch Ueberbenachteiliger, ihn gibt es sogar als ein und dieselbe Person. Der Sprössling trägt bei ihm immer die Kapitänsbinde und ist für alle Standards zuständig. Die Mitspieler haben
bei Ballbesitz die Aufgabe sofort und das heißt auch sofort, den Ball zum talentierten und besten Spieler zu passen, der wen wundert´s den gleichen Nachnamen wie der Trainer trägt.

Dieser Spieler ist trotz der Sonderstellung leider oft undankbar und jammert rum, wenn das Spiel nicht so läuft. Er kann zum Beispiel die guten Tipps die der Papa reinruft nicht alle perfekt umsetzen und schon kommt es zur Spannung im Kreiseder Familie.Garniert wird das Ganze noch wenn die Mutter sich auch auf dem Sportplatz befindet und

dann gegen das Familienoberhaupt meutert, er solle doch mal den lieben Kleinen nicht so harsch angehen.

-       
Kommen wir zu einem Trainertypen den man im ersten Moment für einen vorbildlichen Vertreter seiner Gunst hält, der ICH_HABE_SÄEMTLICHE_SCHULUNGEN_BEIM_WFV_MITGEMACHT-Trainer. Er hat meistens stundenlange Vorträge darüber erhalten das Fußball Spaß machen muss, dass alle Spieler Gewinner sind auch wenn sie 14:0 verloren haben und das wir alle (und dieses Anliegen trägt er auch entschieden ins gegnerische Team) sein Motto Spielerlebnis vor Spielergebnis verinnerlichen sollen .Das zu formulieren ist beileibe kein Verbrechen, schlimm wird es erst wenn sich alle Spieler, Trainer, Eltern, Opa´s, Oma´s, Hunde und zufällig vorbeischauende Walddorfschüler sich an die Hand nehmen müssen, um den Schlachtruf des im Kreise stehenden Gutmenschen zu empfangen.

 

 

-Im Vorfeld hatte diese Spezie bereits den ganzen Platz mit Hütchen belegt

, die für den Laien wild verstreut scheinen. Seine jungen Begabten wissen allerdings sofort was zu tun ist-

 

 


„WIE SPIELEN WIR ?“ fragt er mit aufgerissenen Augenpaaren und fordernder Haltung in die Runde. Seine Kleinpélé´s die blau-weiße Trikots tragen wissen sofort was er will und schreien aus vollen Kehlen „FAIR SPIELEN WIR !“ Das war es aber bei Leibe noch nicht, da der Sektenführer nun seine Frage wiederholt und die Antwort von der gesamten Gemeinde erwartet.Erst wenn dies erfolgreich gemeistert wurde rollt der Ball, aber nicht ohne den Hinweis des Guru´s „wenn ihr hoch führt, nehmt ihr aber mal 2-3 Spieler raus ! Gell !!“

-       
Der Nächste ähnelt dem WVF-Menschen ist aber trotzdem eine eigene Kategorie, es ist „Der Vollprofi“!

Er trifft sich mit seinen Kindern immer bereits 2 Stunden vor Spielbeginn um hier gemeinsam Elektrolyte und andere Energiestoffe einzunehmen. Parallel wird die ausgeklügelte Taktik via Powerpoint-Präsentation den Heranwachsenden näher gebracht. Seine Mannschaften kommen von der Unterhose bis zum Badetäschen stets im Einheitslook, sogar die Frisuren der Spieler ähneln sich.

Im Vorfeld hatte diese Spezie bereits den ganzen Platz mit Hütchen belegt, die für den Laien wild verstreut scheinen. Seine jungen Begabten wissen allerdings sofort was zu tun ist, nachdem sie die Kabine verlassen haben. Selbstständig werden die Hütchenparcours mit aufwendigen Laufkoordinationen oder Passstaffetten bespielt.

Der Profi schreitet dabei gelangweilt und mit verschränkten Armen am Spielfeldrand auf und ab.

Das eigentliche Spiel seiner Virtuosen gleicht im Anschluss auch eher einer Choreographie denn eines Fußballspiels. Wie Ballettänzer schweben Elfen in Kickstiefeln über das Grün, um nach sehenswerten und einstudierten Laufwegen/Passwegen den Ball dem bedauernswerten gegnerischen Torwart um die Ohren zu schießen. Unser Held an der Außenlinie bleibt emotional gefasst und befiehlt ab und zu mit leiser Stimme seinem Co-Trainer ( Sportstudent )die ein oder andere Auswechslung.

Bei besonderen Toren wie zum Beispiel ein Fallrückzieher in den Winkel, lässt er sich zu einem bestätigenden Kopfnicken hinreissen. Nach dem Spiel sagt er Dinge wie „normalerweise spielen wir keine Turniere in der Gegend, da wir sonst nicht mehr gefordert werden! Wir schauen uns eher nach Gegner auf Augenhöhe weltweit um !“

 

Weitere Gründe beim nächsten Mal, den da gibt es den zweiten Teil : Eltern am Spielfeldrand :

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